In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I thought I would take a moment to pause and reflect on this past month and year. Usually around Thanksgiving, my family and I load the car and make the several hour journey to Kentucky for the biggest feast of our life with my father's side of the family. It usually involves watching the entire Macy's day parade, eating more food than seemingly possible, lots and lots of dessert, laughter, family games, and of course begging my mother to not make risk my life for the dangerous event called Black Friday Shopping. However, this year was different. There was no trek to Kentucky on Thursday nor was there a carefree atmosphere in the air. In its place, was a quieter more simplistic holiday spent at home with my immediate family. The reason for the change was the death of my grandmother, Reba Grubbs, this past month. It is so true, that you never know how much someone meant to you until they are no longer here. I must say, I so oft took for granted the countless stories she would tell and her vast knowledge of the Bible. Although I only saw her a few times a year, we would make the most of every second we spent together. She would teach me how to cook and entrust me with her secret recipes. I am convinced there was not a single dish this woman was incapable of making. She also instilled in me the love for coffee. There was never a time of day the coffee pot was not hot, and I swear I never saw the bottom of my coffee cup, because she was always there to refill it. (I suppose she is partly to blame for my caffeine addiction). But of all of our memories, the ones I cherish the most were the many nights we spent together talking until the wee hours of the morning. We would sit around the small table with our coffee cups in hand and the Bible on the table and I would sit and soak up every ounce of wisdom that flowed from her mouth. We would talk about Bible stories and how they applied to everyday life. She was the most selfless, servant hearted woman and her faith in the Lord could move mountains. While in town for the funeral, I came across some poems she had written right after her salvation and paintings she had finished and it amazed me how gifted she was. One poem in particular talked about her life apart from God, wandering and lost, but then the bliss and joy she found in Him. In the last stanza, she said she was ready to go home to her eternal dwelling with her Savior. With tears in my eyes, I smiled knowing that her wish had finally come true. Although there is great loss in her death, I cannot help but celebrate the fact that she is now worshipping with the one she was created to be with. My only desire is to become a granddaughter that she would be proud of, and not let her invaluable life lessons go to waste.
This past year has also been a year of learning for me. It amazes me how much I have learned about myself being at college (admittedly not all have been good things). It is scary sometimes have fast life seems to pass by and I have realized the importance of every second I have been given. So often, I waste time worrying over minute details or things out of my control instead of looking at the world and people around me now. I realize how blessed I am with the people that are in my life who continue to encourage and mold me. When I received the news about my grandmother, two sweet friends Maggie and Abby embraced me as tears flowed down my cheeks and prayed over my family in the middle of my dorm room. When I began to realize how self centered and narrow my view of life had become, I talked with an incredible sister in christ Jordan, who has a huge heart for ministry. As if life could not get better, I had the privilege of coming home and spending a few days having intentional conversations with close friends. Whether I was helping a friend pack for Texas, drinking incredible tea, or sitting at the familiar round tables of starbucks with a peppermint mocha in hand catching up on life, I saw the beauty and gift of friendships. Today, as I sat with Ashley and talked about life, it was comforting to know that although neither of us have certainly about the next several years of our lives, the Lord does. I told God I would live in a state out west, go to seminary, more oversees, or do whatever He wanted. Truly the sky is the limit for my future, and as precarious as it sounds, I am excited.
So as I spend the next month listening to Frank Sinatra's serenading Christmas music, enjoy the toasty fires and sparkling lights on the Christmas tree, and the infectious joy of this beautiful season, I want to take each day and live it as if it might be my last. I do not want to waste more time contemplating or planning my future, rather; I want to love those around me, worship the Lord, and serve Him in whatever capacity that may be.
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