Sweet Blessings By and By

  I have realized as of late that the Lord answers prayers often in the most unexpected ways.  His ways are sometimes not our own but they truly bring much more joy than you or I could ever fathom.  I admit I always struggle with how to start a blog entry.  I always fear I never have the right words or most captivating line to entice the reader to continue- much like an author uses in a novel- but I suppose sometimes those things may not be completely necessary.  So for now, I am left starting with a simple truth that the Lord is so good and I am so blessed. 


  The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of sorts. I have not been feeling entirely great and between doctor visits and tests I have altogether neglected writing but I have learned much through this time and as I type these thoughts out, I am reminded again of the sovereignty of the Lord and the way he provides despite our questioning.  Although being sick is not the best feeling I have had time to rest, read his word, and cling to the truths in a new way.  On days where I could not eat, I learned what it meant to be filled with strength and joy that comes only from the Lord. As I visited the hospital several times this week for tests I was filled with peace that surpasses all understanding as I spent time with the Lord in prayer asking for answers that no doctor was able to produce. I admit some days I had no desire to smile or talk to the nurses or other patients around me but I realized something this week- something completely lacking profundity but a good word I needed to hear-  Its not about me! I am sure this is not a deep concept that plagued the minds of great thinkers such as Aristotle or St. Augustine, but they were human so perhaps it did. Regardless, I realized that for this time I had the ability to share the hope and love of God with the nurses, doctors, and patients around me whether it was simply through a smile or a conversation about my heart for missions and ministry.  


   I wish I could say I realized this on my own, but it occurred to me as I was sitting in a waiting room one morning next to a strong woman I admire deeply, my mother.  As Cissy and I were gazing at the news reports on the television and flipping aimlessly through magazines, a mentally handicapped woman walked by clearly confused and distressed. She walked outside the entrance of the building and waited for a few moments.  My mother immediately stood up, walked outside and talked to the woman as everyone in the full waiting room watched to see what would happen next.  Apparently the bus service had not arrived to pick the lady up so Cissy did what she does best and took charge. She found the number, called the bus driver, talked to the lady, and had her on the bus in five minutes. As she entered the building again, an older man in the corner spoke up and said "Young woman, that was the sweetest thing I have seen. The world needs more people like you!" Although Im convinced they all thought this angel was my sister (which probably made her day), I can honestly say I have never been more proud to call her my mom.  This woman truly lives out 1 John 4 as Peter tells us to love one another, for love comes from God.  In her simple action, I saw the importance of seeing the people around us and taking the advantage of the opportunities in our path to serve the Lord.  After several weeks I am feeling so much better and although I have no full explanation for it, I know it is completely God!  I do not regret a moment of feeling sick, for even in my weakness He was made stronger.  I am incredible thankful though that I am doing so much better. 


   I cannot write without mentioning the wonderful people I am blessed to call dear friends and although ill never be able to mention them all, here are a small few who have brightened my day in so many ways and made my life so much sweeter.


   My sister Heidi- a woman I am incredibly proud of and thankful for.  She is so strong and it has been   a blessing to be home for the summer and spend time with her.  


  CTM girls: Jordan, Laura, Maggie, Abby, and Christine.  From hilarious group texts to lunch dates these ladies are some of my best friends. I cannot wait to all reunite in a few short months. 


 Then there's Amanda who truly gets this Jesus guy.  She has such a heart for people and every phone conversation and text message leaves me encouraged and challenged beyond belief.  The Lord is doing incredible things through her and I am blessed to know her.  She told me about this book called Tempted and Tried and I'm reading it right now. You should definitely read it! It is rocking my world- in a good way :) 


  My sweet friend Shannon from 4th east is now on a mission trip to Israel which is so incredible cool! We both share a love of coffee (ok maybe mine is an addiction) and quaint eating places. My favorite memories of our friendship includes late night chats in my dorm room, standing in the hallway laughing hysterically, and Saturday brunch at Original Pancake House downtown. Fun fact: we are kind of the same person and usually same the same words at the same time in a conversation. Its actually pretty hilarious. 


  The Lord has blessed me greatly with my internship at church this summer. Although this will take another entry entirely, Im so blessed to work with Sarah Benson- a girl who has a heart set on serving the Lord.  Its so beautiful to see her wrestle with what that means for her life and seek to glorify Him with everything.  Her honesty and compassion for people is awesome and I love our talks about what it means to live as a Christian in America.  She has such a heart for middle school girls and is so gifted at encouraging and teaching them. 


  I could talk for ages about my dear friends Becca and Bradford. We are like the three musketeers- but cooler. Bradford is incredibly gifted at everything musical and its so neat to see how He uses these gifts to glorify the Lord. He challenges me to worship God in every aspect of my life and live boldly for Him.  Becca, Miss Texas Pride, is the most encouraging person on the face of the earth.  Whether I have had a rough day or just need advice, she always knows what to say.  These friends have spoiled me beyond belief but I appreciate them greatly. 


  Lastly there's my best friend Teddie, who I have known from the days when low pony tails, middle parts, and bermuda shorts were in style. This summer, we fulfilled a two year dream and went to the RC Cola Moon Pie Festival in Bell Buckle (Pretty sure time instantly stops once you enter this town- its the greatest).  



 

Sin with the Low Price of $19.99

        

         This past semester in my church small group, we talked about the sinfulness of man and our desperate need for Christ.  Although this statement isn’t new at all, I feel like over the many years of hearing this in church, it somehow lost its weight and meaning in my heart.  As we live in the world, we become desensitized to sin and even try to fool ourselves into thinking it is okay. Worse comes to worse, we will repent of it later and “make it right with God’ when we are old and closer to death.  Among many other issues with this mentality, the greatest is that we completely discount the seriousness of sin in our lives.  The theme that kept appearing as I studied the Bible last semester was the Holiness of God.  Although we definitely serve a gracious Lord who sent his son to die for our sins and save us, we must realize that if we are continuing to hold onto sin in our lives, we can not grow and deepen our relationship with this same sovereign Lord who hates sin.

            The beauty is that we serve this awesome God who is a master potter.  There is no blemish in the clay he cannot fix, we simply must be willing to come and sit before him and allow him to take over completely.  This sounds so easy, but to be completely transparent, this past semester I found myself fighting this very thing with every bit of my flesh. I imagine that to God, I looked like a two year old throwing a ridiculous tantrum- you know the kind where the kid is kicking on the floor, seriously upset and the parent just stares and holds back a laughs because the whole thing is actually rather funny. I knew exactly what the sin was in my life and I knew what it took to get rid of it.  The problem with sin is that is so appealing.  It comes in a nice pretty box wrapped and topped with a bow.  In concept it seems wonderful BUT this is completely a LIE!

            In reality, sin is kind of like an as-seen-on-TV gift.   It has a wonderful 15 minute infomercial explaining its too good to be true qualities for sale at the amazingly low price of $19.99.  I know all about these infomercials. My dad likes these things a lot, but he also likes really odd trinkets that seem to serve no purpose.  He has even purchased several of these items and given them as gifts. [I know because I was the lucky recipient of a spider shaped head massager last Christmas- I know you’re jealous now] I hate to burst anyone’s bubble but in all honesty: these items never work!  If you stop and think about it, the maker of them must be pretty desperate to get rid of them if he invests that much energy and money into a commercial to get them off his hands.  Sin is much like these advertised items.  No matter how pretty of a box it comes in, the contents are still cheap, poorly constructed, and never live up to their expectations.  We consumer-minded people buy perfectly into Satan’s lies and the world’s. 

            Sadly, after three days and many attempts, we realize the knife the Sham Wow guy swore would cut through steal wont even slice an apple and we are left having to face the reality of our disillusionment and twenty bucks poorer.  Honestly, I find myself at times like the consumer who has just purchased the cheap item and Im still refusing to admit defeat and throw it away.  I still try to convince myself that if I just give it one more chance, then it will be worth that shipping and handling fee.  In these moments, deep down, I know that I am wrong in so many ways, but my pride and desire for autonomy is unwilling to let go and I absolutely hate this about myself.  The truth is that to walk with the Lord, we HAVE to give this sin over to Him.  We have to approach the throne with confidence and declare that although this sin is appealing, we desire Him and want Him more than we want this sin.  Thankfully, we serve a relentless, patient, and wonderful God who lavishes us with his Love and mercy and forgives our sin when we turn to him with a heart full of repentance. 

Semester in Review

           

           It has been far too long since I have taken time to write and reflect on what I have been learning and today seemed to be a perfect day to do so as I am getting ready to study for exams and enjoy my last two weeks on campus until I leave for the summer. I still can hardly believe that this time last year, I was 2 weeks from graduating high school and nervously anticipating the next chapter of my life in Birmingham. How quickly time passes by. I remember that version of myself: ready to embark upon a wild new journey but scared of change that seemed inevitable, sad to be separated from sweet friends but excited about the new ones God would bring in my life, and worried about being homesick yet excited to be living in a new place I would call home (even if it is an incredibly small room). Looking back now, it is so encouraging to see how God answered my prayers in ways unimaginable and provided for my needs.

            This past week alone has legitimately rivaled any hallmark movie known to man (and Ive seen a lot of hallmark movies). I have had the wonderful privilege of sharing life with some of the most incredible women. My dear friends Christine and Laura and I have started a weekend tradition involving rising early, grabbing bagels at a local bagel shop and then continuing to a quaint starbucks table where we share our life over venti coffees (or chai teas) and brainstorm our next adventure which has involved nature walks, playing in creeks, and making headbands. I am so blessed to have these Godly women in my life that I can laugh with and talk about what God is teaching us. The Lord also gave me a wonderful roommate Maggie, who always leaves me laughing. Although we are opposite in many ways (she is much funnier and bolder than I), she has taught me a lot. I have learned to voice my opinion a bit more (for a recovering people pleaser, this is not easy) and find joy in life-starting with late night dance parties. Despite the fact that I tend to tell really corny jokes at night, she tolerates me and laughs to appease me. It’s a great friendship. Then there is Abby. This girl has a heart for the Lord and passion for showing everyone around her this love. She is someone that I can count on for Godly wisdom and to challenge me to serve the Lord wholeheartedly. Whether we are sitting on her futon talking for hours or watching the sunset on a mountain in silence, I always leave feeling closer to the Lord. I wish I could talk about every person that has been placed in my life thus far at Samford and encouraged me, but that would take an eternity. I will say that I am blessed to have these people in my life, whether we share jokes during class or coffee and tea on the hall.

            Now, I could stop here and conclude this entry ending with the people that have impacted my life and the ways God answered prayer, but I feel the Lord has also done a large work in my heart this semester. It is never easy to talk about the times I had it wrong or the struggles I have faced but in an attempt to be as real as possible, I suppose I should do just that. As I prepared for college, I felt solid in my faith and my relationship with the Lord and to be honest, I prided myself on being a pretty good person. I thought I had done a good job living a life honoring to God. However, I would give anything to tell that prideful version of myself that this God thing is much deeper than that.

           

            I have truly realized now how important it is to dig into the word and let it search my heart. I have learned that it is okay to question God on things and seen how he is faithful to reveal himself and his truths time and time again.  As I dove into the Old Testament, I admit I struggled with the picture of God I saw there. There was something about the legalism and rigidness to the laws that did not settle with me.  Perhaps it is because my human nature and flesh run from the idea of rules and instead wish to seek out their own happiness without inhibition. I came before the Lord and honestly said I was having trouble reconciling the picture of Him in the Old Testament with the one I see in the New Testament. He didn’t leave me or abandon me because I failed to comprehend it all.  Instead, he let me wrestle with it, come before him and ask him, and even though I don’t deserve an answer, he gave me one.  I caught a verse I hadn’t before.  In chapter 31 verse 21 of Deuteronomy the Lord said “ I know what they are disposed to do, even before I bring them into the land I promised them on oath”. When I read this, it somehow started to click.  God KNEW that these people would still turn from him, serve other gods, and seek after their own desires YET He made the oath and brought them into the promised land! He still left them the entire time with a choice.  He didn’t break his Oath because he knew they wouldn’t be faithful, he kept it, and continued to give them the choice to follow him. In a commentary it said “they deserved God’s punishment, although they often received his mercy”.  It was as if the Lord seemed to say to me, yes I am a just God that hates sin and despises evil, but I LOVE and I will protect and be with my people.  In chapter 32 it talks about how the Lord shields for, cares for, guards, feeds, leads, and nourishes.  They chose to abandon, reject, desert, and forget Him. When they do that, he judges them.  He is both Loving and Just. The two must go together. Although some parts are still hard for me to digest, I must trust that God is righteous and faithful and his ways are always just.  In setting these laws for the people to have to obey, he was showing them they couldn’t do it on their own. They had to see their need for a savior to understand what it meant to be saved.  They had to see the depth of their sin that separated them from God, to realize what his grace and mercy truly meant.

            While being at college, I have also discovered how narrow minded I can be. This truly is something I am not proud of, but I suppose the first step to fixing something is admitting there is a problem.  I really should go back to some people and apologize to them for being so legalistic about things. In my ignorance, I assumed my way of thinking was the only way but thankfully the Lord has opened my eyes to see that the world has a lot more grey in it than I like to give it credit for. I heard some people talking the other day about the appropriate and inappropriate places for ministry. They mentioned that no one should ever be caught at the bar of a restaurant talking to someone there, even if they were simply talking to the person there trying to tell them about the Lord. They said since we are called to live above reproach, we must avoid anything that would reflect poorly on us and hinder our testimony. To an extent, this person has a good point and the older version of myself would probably have agreed with them completely. Yes we are called to live set apart and others should see a difference in us BUT, there is something about this ideology that did not set well with me so I turned to the Word and found a passage that helped shed light on this issue.

          In Luke 5:27, Jesus saw Levi, the tax collector sitting at his booth. Once he called to him, Levi left everything and followed him. Then, Levi held a large banquet filled with tax collectors and others. These others were notorious sinners. Not only did Christ call upon a man with a bad reputation, but he entered his house and the presence of other sinners to go to the banquet. The Pharisees and teachers complained to the disciples saying "Why do you eat and drink with tax collectors and 'sinners'?" to which Christ answered "Is it not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance"

In a commentary it said Jesus didn't come to spend his time with the self-righteous religious leaders, but with those who sensed their own sin and knew that they were not good enough for God. 

This account appears in Mark 2:13-17 and in Matthew 9:9-13

          In Matthew, It tells that Jesus went further and said to the religious leaders " But go and learn way this means: I desire mercy not sacrifice. For I have not come to call the righteous but the sinners".  He was showing them that they didn't need to be concerned with their own appearance of being Holy but with helping people. Although some may disagree and that it fine, I cannot help but think that the people in the bars, strip clubs, and on the streets on the very people we are supposed to be reaching. Yes it may seem socially unacceptable, but if you read the gospels, Jesus was far from being socially acceptable. This is not easy, but I pray that the Lord will continue to grip my heart for these people to know Him fully, even if it means being questioned by people. As followers of Christ, we are called to give it all up and follow him. No bargaining or trade-offs. I cant help but think that our desire to be well-liked by men is one of the things we give up in order to follow him to wherever he is leading us so that God may be glorified. 

Felicity

    Felicity- Such a beautiful word. It is defined by Webster as "the quality or state of being happy" however I cannot help but think this state of joy and bliss can hardly be understood by confining it to mere words or definitions. Rather, its meaning can be derived best from experience. It is that moment that pulls at your heart strings and causes joy to well up inside until it radiates from every fiber of your being. Or that instance in which you cannot contain the infectious smile that forms across your face and a sheen of fresh tears glisten over your eyes blurring the world only slightly.
 
    Although there is much pain in the world and imperfections, there are moments one can experience great felicity that serve as a mere foretaste of the glorious day when Eden is restored. Despite the brokeness and depravity of this earth, the Lord is our source of joy and through him, we experience peace and have hope that sustains us through the trials and hardships in life.  But amidst this life, the Lord has given us a generous sprinkling of blissful times that induce felicity on this earth. What first comes to mind is the joy and happiness I receive from working with elementary students downtown in an after school facility.  Most of these students come from family lives that are very different from my own up bringing and they crave attention and praise. Through these kids, I have been blessed beyond belief. It never ceases to warm my heart as I walk through the door and they run over and wrap their tiny arms around my waist.  It reminds me of my own childhood as I would go to my mother and she would envelop me in a loving embrace and sooth my worries and fear, and reinforce her love for me.  It was in those very arms I felt love, security, safety, peace, and contentment. I realized that although some of these students may not have parents who can embrace them, they have a Heavenly Father who stands with arms outstretched longing for their hearts to turn to Him. In His arms only does true love and peace that eradicates all fear exist.
 
    There is truly nothing sweeter than watching a child learn. Most weeks I work with the same student and it has been such a rewarding thing to see his face light up when he gets the right answer or finally understands a concept in math. I often wonder if this is a minuscule picture of how the Lord feels about me when I finally listen to his voice and understand his truths.  The greatest picture of this is seen in Zephaniah 3:17. It says "The Lord your God is with you. He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you. He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing". How truly incredible it is to know that the Lord delights in us and rejoices just as I rejoice over a right math answer or completed homework assignment done by the student.
 
    Whether I am explaining WW2 with what limited knowledge of history I possess, playing tag with eight precious children until my sides ache from laughing, or simply listening to the stories these children long to share, I experience true felicity. As I was reading an article the other day, I came across a phrase that I cannot stop thinking about. With simplicity and much profundity the author implored the reader to bloom where you are planted. Although there are a million things to be involved in, especially at college, I believe the Lord has me at Samford, in Phi Mu, in my small group, and volunteering with these kids for a purpose. It is my desire to not take these things for granted or try to search for the "greener grass" elsewhere, but simply have joy in the context he has planted me in and serve him faithfully here. If you are reading this, I hope you too can look at your surroundings with fresh eyes and find joy in the places you are called to and live as a shining light for the Lord experiencing felicity each day.

Harvest is Plentiful but the Workers are Few

 
   In Church this past month, we have been studying the book of Matthew and I confess the messages have been some of the most challenging messages I have heard. I firmly believe that once you hear truths, you have no excuse to disobey them; for that is an act of willful sinning. I will be the first to tell you I am the biggest culprit of this offense. Sometimes, we fool ourselves into thinking that ignorance is bliss. However, concerning Godly matters, we have no excuse, for the principles and truths have been given to us explicitly in God's word and spoken into our hearts by the Holy Spirit if we are believers.

    One major theme of the study has been that Jesus possesses absolute authority. He has absolute authority over sin, disease, salvation, and death. As Pastor Platt says, "This is good news for us!"  He has the ability to penetrate to the root of all suffering-sin. He came to reconcile sinners to himself.  How incredible is that?! I simply cannot fathom why a perfect and Holy Lord desires my sinful self, but he does!! So much so that he DIED for it. He reigns over us supremely and brings hope and life.  Now these are remarkable truths that lead to ultimate freedom in Christ. But what are we to do with this?  If we believe that Jesus is our sovereign Lord and we commit our lives to serving Him, we must take it a step further and also believe that He warrants absolute allegiance from the world.

    I have realized that I am not called to merely celebrate the great news of Christ (although that is certainly something I should rejoice in daily) but I am called to tell others about it. I was challenged last sunday with this question: Am I willing to pay the price (whatever it may cost) to spread this news? Throughout the New Testament and especially in the book of Matthew, Jesus calls his disciples to go. He calls us to go to the diseased, to the dying, and to the social outcast- to all of those that are in need of a savior. As daunting as that seems, Jesus does not stop there. He calls us sometimes into dangerous situations and warns that we will be betrayed and persecuted. To me, this does not seem like the ideal informational God could have used to call others to Him. I mean, telling people that there will be suffering in following him isn't the best way to win over a crowd. But as I read through scripture, Jesus never tries to plead or entice people to follow him or convince them their life will be a great hallmark movie. Instead, he simply tells them that He is the way, the truth, and the life. And that, my friends is all we need. We live in a materialistic society where we constantly strive for more. Whether it involves a more expansive designer wardrobe, bigger houses, more expensive cars, etc. We buy into the lie that these things will bring about happiness. Now I am not saying that these things are sinful in and of themselves, but I do believe that if these things have greater importance than your relationship to Christ, then they are stumbling blocks in your faith. I assure you I am guilty of this more than anyone, so please know I am not criticizing. The Lord has just opened my eyes to the idea that I do not find true life in indulging in pleasure, society, or the safety and security of this world.  I find true life in letting all of these things go and clinging to Christ. Pastor Platt made a very bold and convicting statement that will not leave my thoughts. He said if we want a comfortable life in this world, then we need to stay away from Jesus. So we must ask ourselves, do we really want to be like Christ?

     Although this seems incredibly intense, radical abandonment to Christ is a beautiful thing! As convicting as this study has been, I have realized how much hope and peace exists in this. Although we are called to follow Christ wherever he may lead, the glorious news is that we are not doing this alone or by our own strength! God will take care of us! We have a Lord that loves us deeply and has great plans for us.  Our home is not this sinful world. It is my greatest desire to live out the days the Lord has blessed me with on this earth serving him completely until the day He calls me home and in great anticipation for the day Eden is restored. I have been gripped by the urgency of the gospel and incredibly convicted of my own apathetic attitude in the past. My prayer every day is that God will open my eyes to the lost around me and help me rely completely on Him. My prayer for the church and this generation is that we will not settle for the "health, wealth, and prosperity" gospel but truly be a people that follow boldly after the Lord and identify with Paul as he writes in Philippians that to live is Christ, to die is gain.

A Few Favorite Quotes

  I love reading books and listening to sermons.  The author/speaker has invested countless hours and often sought the Lord diligently while preparing and its a beautiful moment when you come across a line or point that strikes your heart to the core.  Sometimes, its an encouraging word that acts as a bandage for a wound or a phrase that provides immense truth and conviction that reverberates through our soul. These are only a minuscule amount of words that hold deep meaning to me. Some are funny, others entirely serious, but the truths are inescapable.

This is God's universe and He does things His way. You may have a better way, but you don't have a universe -Francis Chen

Jesus came to comfort the afflicted, but He also came to afflict the comfortable -Jesus Freaks

This is why the devil tries so hard to get Christians to be religious. If he can sink a man's mind into habit, he will prevent his heart from engaging in God -Donald Miller

We are involved in a spiritual war. The enemy is formidable, the scope is universal, involvement is inevitable. Spiritual retreat only leads to spiritual defeat. The stakes are eternal. [but] we are not alone in this war. We do not fight this war for victory; we fight from victory! -David Platt

This gospel saves, its what people need! Do we believe that? We must refuse to live in self-centered Christianity that hoards it and as those in church buildings that diminish the view and character of God.-Platt

Where is the weeping in our worship? Is there humility? If brokeneess and humility have no place in our worship, then God has no place in our worship. -Platt

What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us. Tozer

[Man] is willing to share himself, sometimes even to sacrifice himself for a desired end, but never to dethrone himself. . . he is still in his own eyes a king on a throne -Tozer

We live out our lives sandwiched between a greater narrative and greater need. -Beth Moore

We are saved by grace for a purpose. He set us free so we can set others free. Not so we can have a little Christian "Bless Me" Club but so we can make a different in our dark world. Light is most effective in darkness. 

It is much easier for me to imagine a praying murderer, a praying prostitue, than a vain person praying. Nothing is so at odds  with prayer as vanity. -Bonhoeffer

One cannot simply read the Bible, like other books. One must be prepared really to enquire of it. Only thus will it reveal itself. -Bonhoeffer

Christians cannot be governed by mere principles. Principles could carry one only so far. At some point every person must hear from God, must know what God was calling him to do, apart from others. -Bonhoeffer

Vessel of the Lord

 So often I grow complacent in everyday life and go through the motions of the day without truly looking at a single person. I find myself glancing up only occasionally from a starbucks line or bookstore aisle to quickly meet the gaze of a bystander, only to quickly avert my attention back to the enthralling book cover or to the vast selection of caffeine choices available. It amazes me that I can stare blankly into a person's eyes around me and see only hollowness. I'm convinced it takes a certain level of talent and practice to be so self absorbed that I cannot see past my own problems. How is it that I can look at people and remain so guarded that I fail to notice the flecks of pain in their forced smile, the rigid facial expression that reveals a great degree of anxiousness, or the spark in their eyes that comes from pure joy? We come in contact with so many people throughout the day (I am sure some smart person has conducted a study that gives a number for this but I don't know it off the top of my head). What would it look like if I were to make the most of these interactions, even with complete strangers, and focus more on them. I strongly believe that each day we wake up is a gift from God and is meant to be used entirely for His glory. I am not trying to put words in God's  mouth but I'm fairly confident that there is nothing honoring to Him when we remain fixated on our own agendas and fail to love or even acknowledge the existence of the beautiful human beings He has placed in our path for the day.

        I suppose this is such a big issue to me because it is one I largely struggle with and have been convicted of. The Lord has shown me that appearances truly are deceiving and even the seemingly most put-together-person has scars and deep wounds that inflict unimaginable pain. Perhaps you encounter a beautiful girl in line and due to jealousy you begin to measure yourself up to her and immediately judge her because life for Barbie look-alikes like herself must be perfect. What you may not realize is that this girl struggles with an eating disorder and fails to see her own worth or beauty. Her body image is incredibly distorted and she is in bondage to the lies Satan feeds her: that she is worthless, she will never be good enough, she is ugly. She does not realize that she is fearfully and wonderfully made, and the daughter of a great King who loves and adores her and has created her in his perfect image. Just maybe, God placed this girl in your path (or perhaps vice versa) so that you could simply smile and show her that she has worth and help her regain confidence in the Lord. Or, maybe you pass by someone sitting at the bar as you enter a restaurant. So often it is easy to judge this person but what if we were to take time to realize that this very person may be spending their evenings alone attempting to drown out their problems and worries. They feel hopeless, dejected, and see no worth or point to life and maybe they are contemplating ending their own. I am not trying to place guilt or convict others. I am simply relaying what the Lord has been teaching me. I struggle with this in the worst way, but through his grace, the Lord has taught me that THESE are the very people He died for. Like me, they are in desperate need of a Savior and cannot find true joy or meaning apart from Him. In a video, a non Christian actually commented that if Christians really believed in God and the Bible, then how much would they have to hate someone to not tell them about Christ. I think this is a great question and one that I am in constant need of thinking about. If I believe in the sovereignty of the Lord and that Christ is the only way to salvation, and in Him alone is life found, how could I not tell others around me about this great hope. It amazes me that the Lord is willing to use me, even though He certainly does not need me, to be a light to these dark and broken souls. He can use me to speak truth straight into someone's life as he becomes the perfect salve for their gaping wounds.

         It is my prayer that God will continue to break my heart for what breaks His, and let me feel deep sorrow and love for the very people around me that are in need of His grace and love. What if I lived each moment fully expecting Him to work in the lives of the people around me? How incredible it would be to be a vessel He can work through to touch these lives. But in order to do that, I must first look into their eyes and smile.