The Lost Art of Conversing

I watched the crows feet around his eyes deepen as his gaze shifted from the ground beneath his wooden bench to the approaching recognizable man walking towards him.  With a nod and friendly greeting he beckoned the man to join him. From where I sat a bench over, I listened to their introductions. Clearly they were acquaintances; Friends really, who seemed to share a history.  I continued to listen as the two men talked about the weather and then it moved to closer issues. The government shut down, politics, the economy, and religion.  The more pointed the conversations became I realized the change in tone of the voices.  No longer could the friendly amicable tones of understanding be heard but they were replaced by defensive, self-justifying, and prideful statements.

As I sat beneath the tree as the leaves began to fall softly, I could not help but think that this instant change in conversation happens with all of us.  It brought back memories of talks I’ve had with my own family or friends, even strangers that ended with less grace than my own eavesdropping uncovered. I have a pride issue. I am sure I am not the only one but I know it exists in me, in the darkest corners of my heart. I so badly enjoy being right. I think we all do, it is part of our human nature to feel accomplished when we are right on issues and sometimes its easy to get immediate gratification from proving others wrong. When you think about it, it seems crazy that we can allow a conversation with someone we know or love to shift from encouragement to personal attack.  Why do we feel we are the ones with supreme knowledge and anyone who sees things differently must be wrong and therefore, should be corrected?

I once heard a man talk about his weekly “round tables” with other religion professors.  He talked about a group of men who would gather around a table and lay it all out there. Their questions, their concerns, the things that baffled them and the things that they saw with complete clarity.  In that room, there were no personal attacks, arguments, or egos. They conversed with thought-through answers sprinkled with grace. They held each other in the utmost respect and esteem.  Each man was recognized as a human being made in the image of God, each man just as capable of imparting knowledge and wisdom as the next.  Most importantly, they valued learning from one another.  They could disagree but did so with respect and an eager desire to know the other person more fully instead of countering them. 

If you take only a few minutes and look at twitter, facebook threads, or blogs in our culture today, this round table concept is nearly nonexistent.  In fact, it seems crazy and only possible through a Utopian society.  We each battle entitlement.  We have the freedom to post, tweet, instagram, or blog about our opinions.  These are not bad things. In fact we should be grateful for this freedom so many men and women before us gave their lives for.  Yet with anything, we should use this freedom responsibly and not selfishly. Perhaps there is something about social media that allows us to almost dehumanize people.  We see only a profile and name so it is easier to rattle off insults or tear people down but we are called to be much more relational and loving than this.  I realized this week that each person I come in contact with has a story.  Each with lines rich of messy lies, sin, and pain.  Yet just like my story, each begins with the same line “created by God” and involves a Savior who desires their heart. I’ve realized the in-between doesn’t matter as much.  Apart from our beginning, we all have different contexts, settings, worldviews, and upbringings. Instead of letting these different views be a divider, we should see them as a way to engage in thought-provoking, edifying conversations. We should stop conversing focusing on the in-betweens but focus on how this person can teach us and be thankful that love is not dependent on like-mindedness. In fact, love is seen most beautifully in paradox much like the love that propelled a sinless man to die for people who did not even deserve it or care. Today I want to live out this kind of love and my hope is that we can restore this lost art of conversing, letting our words continually paint a picture of our own grace and humility. 

Tattoos and Redeeming Love

        

    In this life, there is this constant “keeping up with the Jones’ mentality filled with consumerism, perfection, and constant striving to attain some thing greater than what we already have.  N.T. Wright In his book on Evil and the Suffering of God diagnoses the American and Developed World’s problem as Progress. We are obsessed with new technology and advancements and along the way, we have bought into this idea that increasing technological progress means moral and ethical progress.  When we come up against trials, wars, illness, or evil in this world, we are completely baffled by it.  We forget that evil present today in this world is the same evil that first reared its head in the Garden of Eden. The same sin that Adam and Eve committed by choosing to fracture their relationship with God to establish their own thrones is the same sin we each have committed.  There are so many theological questions that can be raised when talking about that day in Eden but the one that bewilders me is why God did not choose to destroy the first creation and start afresh.  Why is it that he punished them but still gave them a chance for life?  He could have easily started from scratch with a new creation that would adore and love him but instead, he chooses Redemption.  He sent Jesus, part of his Holy Trinity to take on every aspect of humanity.  This Jesus guy that was sent to save a people that constantly turned away from Him.  Ultimately he chooses to die for those people.  He had every opportunity to walk away and give up, but just as God did not give up on humanity in Eden, he did not give up on mankind and saved us on that momentous day in Golgotha.

            The beauty is that despite the suffering in this world, you and I are part of this story. Our life is made possible by the sacrifice of a man we can never repay.  A man that saw some thing worth redeeming in this creation. We have to remember that the very God who created the universe looks into the depths of our souls and sees something worth salvaging.  There is something mysterious about a God who sees more purpose and beauty in transforming us into a new creation rather than beginning again.  There’s a show about tattoos. The premise is that these artists will see clients who have tattoos they received on a dare or an incredibly drunken night and they turn the tattoo into something less shameful. These artists are not just ordinary but incredibly talented people.  It’s easy to simply draw a picture on a blank slate but it’s another thing to be given an image and creatively reconstruct it into a new thing entirely. I think that is what God chooses to do with us.  

                He uses the ugliness of our former lives and in his Holy creativity, he transforms  us into a new being entirely. 

            Just as the ink of a horrible smurf or ex lovers initials will still be on our skin so will the past sins be part of our story, but instead of seeing their hideous reminders, we can see the new creation God made in us.  This empowers up to tell our story with unashamed hope.